This is a story (about a girl named Rachel)
by x0wynn0x
Summary: Rachel wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was, but things fall apart and she's no '90s kids' show hero. When bad things happen without a good reason in sight, she turns to the one person who can help her get her mojo back.


**AN: **This was written when the spoilers for Kitty's line came up. I didn't watch the episode (honestly, I haven't seen a full ep since season 4 because Glee canon enrages me) but I have seen some spoilers floating around, so this story is pretty much AU after the line with a few spoilers sprinkled in. It's also heavily in Rachel's POV this chap, so don't expect too much Faberry (like the show *sad tears*)

* * *

"Are you trying to pick me up? Because if you're gonna go lezzy with a cheerleader, I think the world's kinda rooting for you and Quinn Fabray."

Rachel paused mid-rant to give Kitty the side-eye. She's heard a lot of crazy things before – like Kurt murdering a Queen's song in the shower – but Kitty's words were plain ludicrous. Why would anyone be rooting for her and Quinn Fabray? Was her momentary lapse in judgment, the teeny tiny crush she had on Quinn during freshman year that obvious? But how would Kitty, someone who didn't even go to McKinley that year, know that?

"Wait – what? Rewind that. Why would you say that?"

Kitty shrugged, bored at this conversation, bored at school, bored at Rachel's insistence on getting her to join that loser club. "If I wasn't me, I'd try to recruit and have sex with myself too. While I'm flattered by your obvious obsession, there's plenty of other fishes in the sea, sweetheart. The gay, liberal kind."

Rachel shook her head, making a face. "No – I mean, why Quinn Fabray? Why would you mention Quinn Fabray? Did she _say_ something to you? Is the world really rooting for us?"

So that came off way more aggressive than Rachel had intended. Not helping with the 'obsession' label there, Rachel. Dial it back. Act nonchalant.

"It's not like I'm emotionally invested in our pairing or anything," she quickly added. "Although, adding a female to my prospective love life might garner more media attention..." She trailed off, picturing headlines and scandals. "I'll have to talk to my publicist about that first. But I'm interested – no, she – _my publicist_ would be interested to know why there's people who are, as you say, rooting for Quinn and I."

Kitty held up a hand. "Ok, first off, stop making this about you; it's about me. Second off, what are you even going on about? Wait – don't answer that. I don't care. Now, if you'll excuse me, I see a democrat that's in need of defamation."

She shoved through Rachel, her high ponytail swinging behind her and eerily reminding Rachel of Quinn.

As Rachel had made it perfectly clear a thousand times in her head – her crush on Quinn during freshman year was a fluke. That was before she knew what Quinn would have turned into: a big cheerleading bully. Fortunately, Quinn changed, and Rachel found a great guy in Finn Hudson for the little while that it lasted. Things all worked out for the better.

So she pushed Kitty's words to the back of her mind and proceeded to find other ways of blackmailing - _recruiting_ the cheerleader into Glee club.

* * *

"Please tell me we weren't this terrible when we started."

Rachel scoffed, although it's been difficult for her to hide her horror for the last 30 minutes, watching her Glee club stumble through their usual routine. "Please, Kurt, we were never terrible since I was on the team. Moderately good, yes, but never terrible."

Kurt rolled his eyes then spoke into his mic, "Ok, ladies and gents, I think it's time that we all take a much needed break."

He and Rachel remained in their auditorium seats, stretching out the cranks in their body while the rest of their tiny Glee club left the stage like the sloths they were. They couldn't even fake being enthusiastic about taking a break. Her entire being riddled with anxiety every time her kids got a note wrong or missed a choreography. Their failure would only reflect on her (and on Kurt too, she guessed) and that's something Rachel Berry could not afford right now. Her livelihood was at stake here!

How Mr. Schue managed to do this for hours on end baffled Rachel. She thought she could just sit back, give great criticism, and then watch as her ugly ducklings turn into beautiful swans. But alas, not everyone could be as naturally talented as everyone in the Glee club Rachel was apart of in her youth.

Oh, to be young again.

"Rachel, snap out of it," Kurt said. "You look like you're fantasizing about being handed a Tony from Bernadette Peters and quite frankly, it's disturbing me."

Rachel gave him a hard look – her fantasizing face was a thing of beauty, thank you very much! – and changed the topic to her Glee club. Their Glee club – whatever. She and Kurt exchanged ideas and plans, things they could change, things to keep, who they thought had the weakest voice, had the strongest voice, and who would look great in an underwear ad. Topics that respected Glee coaches go over.

It was all going so well until Rachel couldn't take it anymore.

"I kissed Sam Evans."

Kurt nearly snapped his pen in half. "You did _what?_"

Rachel straightened her posture and repeated, matter-of-factly, "I kissed Samuel Evans last Thursday. While we agreed it was better to stay friends, there's…still something there between us. I think I would like to explore that."

Kurt let the pencil drop. He had to take this new information in. Because Mercedes. Because Finn. Because Sam was his friend and while he liked the guy enough, he knew Sam wasn't…right for Rachel. That relationship would go as swimmingly well as putting Iggy Azalea on a Bette Midler single.

Rachel surely must know that too, at least deep down. Could this be a bad case of settling for the next best thing? The nearest thing?

He swallowed down his worry, smiled his smile, and told Rachel if that's what she wanted then she should go for it. _Hopefully Mercedes would step in and put a stop to this,_ he mentally added. The only positive side to this he could see was Rachel finally moving on.

Another thought came to him, one that he didn't bother to keep quiet. "Hey, do you realize that you've now dated or at least kissed all of Quinn's exes?"

He only meant that as a joke, sort of, but the look of dawning realization on Rachel's face made him stop mid-laugh.

"Oh, wow, I never noticed that," she said, faking a smile.

That's where they found themselves, sitting there awkwardly smiling at each other.

Rachel cleared her throat and looked away. "You don't think I'm _Single-White-Femaling _her do you? _She_ won't think that, will she?"

"No, of course not." Before he could stop his sassy-self, another bad joke escaped him. "It's not like you wanted her face in high school or anything."

Fortunately, the Glee club zombie-walked back onto the stage. Kurt couldn't be more relieved; sometimes he still had problems speaking around Rachel Berry. He liked to think it had less to do with what he says and more to do with Rachel's need to overdramatize everything. It was exhausting talking to her sometimes.

Rachel, on the other hand, was less concerned about Kurt and more wary over the fact that somehow, someway, Quinn Fabray still had a presence her life.

* * *

"This is the weirdest wedding I've ever been to, and that's saying a lot because I was at Mr. and Mrs. Schues."

Rachel smiled up at Sam and accepted his drink, and while she had specifically asked him to get her sparkling cider and not orange juice, this will do. Drinking out from a tin can wasn't ideal already, but Rachel supposed the drinkware meshed perfectly with the wedding's… farm aesthetics.

Only Santana and Brittany would.

Sam took a seat and cautiously draped an arm over her chair, keeping his eyes out for other partygoers. Rachel knew he was also paying close attention to Mercedes who had attended the wedding with a guy – and Mercedes had emphasized this – _friend_ from LA. Mercedes was barely on speaking terms with them, but Rachel would be a blind fool not to notice the way Sam's gaze lingered on Mercedes and vice versa.

"Are you having a good time?" Sam asked her.

Rachel shrugged. "I'm having a decent enough time despite the fact that they've banned me from the stage. _Meanwhile,_ Tina Cohen-Chang is allowed to sing."

He chuckled. "Tina is a really good singer. I know you would have killed it though."

"Thank you." Rachel beamed and patted him on the knee. Leave it to Sam to always know what to say to make her feel good.

They started out rocky, having to hide their relationship once they found out about Mercedes' disapproval, even though she was the one that dumped Sam and refused to take him back. It's a lot better now, Rachel would like to think, because Sam was sweet, caring, attentive, and he reminded her of –

She took a large drink of her orange juice and swallowed down the ache that still sometimes came when she thought about Finn Hudson.

"Look over there," Sam gestured across the dance floor. "You think Puck will get into Becky's pants this time? Her boyfriend looks too afraid to do anything."

Rachel frowned at the implication. "Sam, that's highly inappropriate. I don't think Quinn would appreciate that joke at all."

Speaking of Quinn.

She ignored Sam's confused expression to peak her head up and search around the room for a particular platinum blonde ex-classmate of hers. Santana had brushed her off when she asked why Quinn wasn't going to be the maid of honor, being that they were 'best frenemies' and all. When she asked Brittany the same question, the response had been, "She's gone off to visit the unicorns. She'll be back." Rachel assumed Quinn had been too busy with school to attend any of the bridesmaid dressings or the wedding rehearsals.

But now, it just dawned on her that she had yet to run into Quinn.

"Where is Quinn by the way?" Rachel asked, trying to sound casual. "I thought she would be here for her best friends' wedding, but I've only seen Noah all day."

Sam made that face again – the sort of opened mouth, vacant stare look that Rachel used to think was Sam Evans way of zoning out or daydreaming. Maybe that was actually his thinking face. "Erm…I guess you don't know? They broke up."

Rachel made the same face as Sam before she jerked back. "What? What do you mean they broke up? When did this happen?"

"A while ago I guess. About a month? I guess she didn't want to come here and have it be all awkward like with us and um…" His sad eyes darted over to Mercedes. "I did hear that soon after they broke up, Quinn took a sabbatical to Amsterdam or something with her school's help. I think the only person who's talked to her recently was her mom and Santana. Heh, maybe she got stuck at the airport like Brittany that one time and couldn't make it here."

Rachel doubted that was the reason why. However, she was more interested in Quinn and Puck's breakup than why Quinn wasn't at the wedding. "Why did they break up?"

"Puck wouldn't go into details, but he said cheating was involved so you can kinda guess _who_ was responsible for that." He laughed, but then caught himself. "Please don't gossip. I don't think I'm supposed to be spreading his business all over the place, but you're my girlfriend so it should be good. Right?"

No, it wasn't good. Rachel was pretty sure he had broken a bro-code in there somewhere. Sam's lack of indiscretion aside, leave it to Puck to possibly screw up the best relationship he could have. The most annoying thing was that now, she's suddenly concerned about Quinn's wellbeing when a while ago Quinn hadn't crossed her mind at all.

Rachel,_ seriously_, did not want to be concerned. It's not like they were close friends, and at this point aside from a few scarce texts here and there, it didn't feel like they were friends at all. The last time they had spoken was when Rachel called the old New Directions to help recruit New New Directions in order to replace the Old New New Directions under William (she gets to call him that, now that they're on equal footing). It wasn't even a conversation, and Rachel couldn't remember if they had said goodbye to each other or not.

Either way, there she was sitting at Santana and Brittany's wedding wondering about Quinn's whereabouts and how unfortunate Quinn's lovelife was. Meanwhile, her own boyfriend was making sad eyes at his ex-girlfriend, her best friend was thinking of eloping with his boyfriend/former ex-fiancé, and Tina Cohen-Chang was serenading Mike Chang because she got to be the fucking wedding singer.

* * *

"_But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts. She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers_."

15-year-old Rachel Berry's voice blared across the field as she dramatically took a couple of steps down the bleachers. She reached the railing and leaned over it with flare, singing, "_Dreaming about the day, when you wake up and find, that what you're looking for has been here the whole time.._."

The Cheerios below her had synchronized their choreography with her singing. A sight to behold, if Rachel could say so herself. She did believe they were the most talented organization at McKinley, and if there weren't such a high probability that they would drop her and ruin her talent, Rachel would've joined them in a heartbeat.

Quinn Fabray leading the charge was an added benefit.

And it was Quinn Fabray that sang back at her. "_If you could see that I'm the one who understands you…" _She danced her way through the Cheerios, crossing the field to get closer to Rachel. "…_Been here all along so why can't you see?"_

"_You belong with me, you belong with me," _Rachel added, harmonizing with Quinn. She placed a closed fist to her chest, agony written across her face.

Quinn crunched up her brows and twirled on her heels, returning to her Cheerios and singing the lines, "_Walking the streets with you and your own out jeans, I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be..." _The Cheerios danced with her like a bunch of aggressive gazelles. Even Brittany looked angry at the world, and she was normally a stoic figure. "_Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself, hey isn't this easy?"_

Rachel was unimpressed by the routine though, and stomped down the rest of the bleachers with her own lines of, "_And you got a smile that could light up this whole town, I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down_." She pointed across the football field to where the football team, including sophomore heartthrob Mr. Finn Hudson, was watching the entire exchange. A couple of Cheerios back flipped toward her and tried to stop her ascent, but she used her badass dance moves to kick them out of the way.

As she got closer to Quinn, she angrily threw out her arms and rasped, "_You say you're fine, I know you're better than that. Hey, what you doing with a girl like that?"_

Quinn gasped and had two Cheerios, one on each side, lift her slightly off her feet and carried her the rest of the way toward Rachel. She snarled into Rachel's face, "_She wear high heels, I wear sneakers – "_

Rachel snarled right back. "_She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers."_

"_Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find –"_

"_That what you're looking for has been here the whole time." _

This was the part where they were supposed to turn toward Finn Hudson – the crooked-smile, dimpled face star quarterback. They were supposed to sing to him, their hearts laid out on the table because Rachel was still a lonely school outcast and Quinn had a dark secret and her future resting in the hands of two teenage boys. They were supposed to sing-battle over him and Quinn was supposed to win publicly and Rachel was supposed to run home crying in defeat. There would be no Glee club to fall back on for either of them.

Except, instead of continuing to diva-off for Finn's attention, Quinn had grabbed Rachel's face and smashed their lips together.

William snapped his fingers in front of Rachel's face. "Rachel? Are you okay? You're not…hallucinating again, are you?"

Rachel was no longer on the football field having the inside of her mouth discovered and mapped by Quinn Fabray. She was standing in the middle of the hallway with William Schuester (who was nowhere _near _her mouth, thank you very much). For once, students walked around her instead of into her given her teacher status. She felt flushed from head to toe. Like she just had a vivid dream about her former bully and now (kind of?) friend. She excused it with a shaky smile and a, "Yeah, I apologize. I was just thinking about what life would've been without the Glee club."

That was the truth. She had indeed been thinking about what could've happened to herself and to all her friends without the Glee Club. Making out with Quinn somehow slipped in there and had been unexpected, of course, but she blamed it on having marathon _Orange is The New Black_ with Kurt the night before. The lead character was blonde, Quinn was blonde, Alex was a dark head, Rachel was a dark head, Alex and Piper made out, she and Quinn made out. See, it all made perfect sense.

"Yes, I understand," William said with a resigned smile. "Sometimes I get that way too. It's difficult for me to imagine my life now without Glee club, without you kids. Even Vocal Adrenaline."

Rachel stopped herself from making a face. While she held fond memories of Glee, she didn't want Glee – or high school in general – to be the pinnacle of her life. She admired William's dedication to New Directions when they were a failing group of misfits, but she never understood why he continued to stay after they graduated. He had all the opportunities to pursue a legitimate career in Broadway and yet...

She didn't want to be like him.

She wanted to be someone like – someone like Quinn Fabray who managed to overcome every difficulties thrown at her and was living out her dreams at Yale. Granted, Rachel had no idea what Quinn was doing _now_, but if anything, at least Quinn wasn't stuck in her childhood home, struggling with her ill-advised career decisions.

Rachel wrapped her arms across her stomach and shook away any pestering thoughts about Quinn. Stupid daydream and stupid blonde and stupid Cheerios dance numbers.

"I'll be sad when I leave all this behind," she told William. "But it's inevitable. My future isn't here. Just wait, when I win Nationals, they're all going to come crawling back to me and I will show them what Rachel Barbra Berry is made of."

He regarded her with a sad smile, as if he knew something she didn't, as if he pitied her. "Winning isn't everything. You have to find what makes you happy first instead of chasing after something you _think_ will make you happy. Take it from me."

Rachel scrunched up her face. "That doesn't make any sense. No offense, William, but my career path is vastly different from yours. I find it hard to take advice from someone who chose to give up the one thing I've been dreaming about all my life."

"I didn't mean – I wasn't trying to," he paused and drew in his lips, trying to find something to say to ease away her scowl. "I'm sorry if it sounded like I know better. I keep forgetting that you're not my student anymore. What I just want to say is, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Take a step back and breathe for once, Rachel." He gave her shoulder a squeeze, an innocent act that still made her want to wiggle away. "In any case, I'm very proud of you. You've made it past Regionals with a solid team, and I'm very sorry that I ever underestimated you."

"I'm glad you've come to terms that I'm better than you," Rachel said flippantly, for her mind was a hundred miles away from the conversation. She shrugged off William's hand and with her chin held high said, "If you can excuse me, I have a class to teach."

* * *

"Now that we've won the big one, what are you going to do Ms. Berry?"

Rachel mauled over Jane's question. Honestly, she had no idea. Her intent to resurrect Glee club and win Nationals was mostly for an ego-boost. For people, like producers and other actors and audiences and whatever fans she had left, to see her not as a failure, but as someone who could pick themselves back up and succeed beyond all odds. This was a great comeback story wasn't it?

Then why did she feel so hollow?

"I…I guess I'm going to go back to New York," she told Jane, turning back to the second Nationals trophy planted in the choir room. She put on a brave face and smiled. "Maybe I'll go to a few auditions, get back into the swing of things. Being here with all you kids taught me a lot about myself and what I'm capable of doing."

It actually kind of didn't, but it sounded great coming out of her mouth. This was the sort of things she was supposed to tell her students right? That while she pushed them, they also inspired her to do great things?

Then why was there still that nagging feeling in the back of her mind that as soon as she stepped out of McKinley, she'll just fall on her face all over again?

Like at the audition Mercedes had gotten her a while back, all before their friendship crumbled over one boy. One step onto the stage and Rachel had nearly frozen up. She pushed through, but she knew she hadn't sound as confident or as good as she could've been. She knew they were staring at her, but they weren't staring at her because they were amazed, they were staring at her because they recognized her as the crazy ingénue who destroyed her Broadway gig to be on a laughingstock of a TV show. They were staring at her because they were imagining all the ways she could fail _them _in the future like she had failed NYADA, failed Carmen Tibideaux, failed _Funny Girl_, failed her daddies and everyone who believed in her.

Failed Finn.

"I know you can do it," Jane said. "I've seen some of your performances on youtube, the ones before you were Funny Girl. I think they were your high school ones?" Rachel couldn't fight the blush on her cheeks, causing Jane to laugh. "Don't worry, they were still great despite their ancient quality."

"Well, it's pretty hard to contain my talent. Even when I was a toddler I was told the only thing stopping me from stardom was the fact that I still needed slip on diapers."

"You're ever so humble," Jane said, and Rachel couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not. You could never tell with this girl. "I'm glad you've at least gotten your mojo back. I know I was very skeptical of you and Mr. Hummel and this Glee club in general, but looking at this trophy now – I'm very happy to be a part of this."

At least that made Rachel feel good.

Against her better judgment, Rachel pulled Jane into a hug. The girl was obviously shocked, standing as still and straight as a rod. Then slowly, strong arms moved and one hand patted Rachel on the back. Nostalgia suddenly kicked in, and the hug reminded Rachel of all those times she embraced a stiff Quinn before they finally got comfortable with each other.

She squeezed and hugged Jane even harder, trying to recapture the feel of a once familiar body. The indulgence only lasted for several seconds because the important things were different – the height and the scent. Even burying her head into the other girl's shoulder, breathing in deeply, and trying to picture Quinn's smile didn't prolong the job. But it felt good, great even, because for those few seconds the bubbling anxiety in Rachel's stomach subsided.

"Uh…Ms. Berry. I know you just broke up with your boyfriend so you're probably in need of some human contact but I don't – you know…"

Rachel jumped back and awkwardly straightened out her hair. "Oh, god, I'm sorry. That was – I didn't – sorry, I was just in the moment. Innocent moment. Please, don't report me."

Jane eyed her skeptically but nodded. "Ok…I think I'm going to go now. I'll see you around, Ms. Berry."

"I'll see you around, Jane."

Rachel watched Jane speed walk her way out of the choir room. Sometimes the girl reminded Rachel of herself – when she's not reminding Rachel of Quinn. She'll miss her, as well as the other Glee kids. She'll even miss Sue Sylvester and William Schuester (who decided that life as a Vocal Adrenaline coach wasn't fulfilling enough and came back to New Directions – he's still a traitor).

God, how was it scarier leaving Lima the second time around?

* * *

"Are you sure your doors are locked, sweetie?"

"Yes, daddy, everything is locked." Rachel switched the phone from one ear to the other, quietly (actually) checking the locks this time just in case. She also checked the windows. Just in case. "You know, the fact that I haven't heard anyone cuss me out just for sticking my head outside the window yet gives me a good feeling about this place."

Hiram tsked over the phone. "I still would feel much better if you'd stayed here and waited until Santana and Brittany returned from their honeymoon before moving in."

She swatted away his unfounded concerns. "Who knows when they'll return. Last time they went on a vacation they were gone for half a year. At least, I think it was a half a year – that time period was odd for the calendar in general." She lowered her eyes, voice softening. "I can't just depend on my friends to be here all the time. I think this will be great practice for when I move out on my own, you know? It's odd enough living with a _married_ couple. It feels invasive."

"Well, I think it's a great idea. I don't want my honey bunch to be out in New York alone." He sighed, long and hard. "There's always a spot here for you, sweetheart. You don't have to jump right into things if you still feel unsure."

"No, no, no, I'm ready. It's been a year. I'm not getting any younger. I've already missed so much just because I let my head get the best of me." She rolled her eyes at the words everyone used to tell her, but she'd been too proud to accept. She still couldn't say she accepted it 100%. "Listen daddy, I have to get back to unpacking. And yes, I'll call you if anything happens."

"Alright, and I'll get back to your father. I can't wait to show him what he's been missing this entire time."

"Oh, ew, daddy! Goodbye! I love you, and tell dad I love him too!"

She hung up with a smile on her face and returned to her boxes. The apartment they rented out was much more normal than the Bushwick loft, thank Barbra. There were actually walls instead of curtains and she'll finally have the benefit of privacy in her own room. The only downside to the whole setup was having to live with Santana and Brittany, whom she wasn't even sure liked her half the time.

She shifted through the boxes around the living room, picking out one that had 'Mementos' scribbled across it. What a mistake.

Inside the box was memorabilia from the Glee club. There was a tiny ribbon New Directions won at a singing competition in the '09 Ohio state fair; another one that they won at a hotdog-eating contest; music sheets that various members wrote notes on; a gold star plush toy that the boys won for her; tickets to concerts that they all went to as a team; many photos and plenty of other trinkets.

She picked up one framed photo of them taken in the choir room after their big Nationals win. Her eyes immediately landed on Finn, but that had less to do with any residual feelings and more to do with the fact that he was a head taller than everybody else. That made her smile.

And cry.

She laughed, tears streaming down her cheeks, and a placed a palm over her mouth. This was the original group – the Glee club she spent 3 of the most important years of her life with. They were all so young and innocent; even Tina was a decent enough girl back then. Their winnings and accomplishments were huge, but their dreams and aspirations were even larger. Rachel was going to be a big Broadway star and Finn was going to be with her.

What happened?

Sobs shook her chest. She clutched at the spot where her heart was, trying to soothe the sudden ache. Breathe in slowly through the nose, pause, breathe out just as slow through the mouth; exercises that her therapist once taught her when facing social anxiety. Not like she ever really used it past the age of 5, but it felt like the last 3 years of her life had been a long, slumbering panic attack, striking at every crucial moment. It took a minute max, but felt like hours, before she calmed down enough to feel like she had autonomy of her body again, that her chest wasn't going implode upon itself.

Her vision cleared, and her gaze shifted back over to the photograph. Quinn stood behind her in the picture. Rachel remembered feeling half of Quinn's front leaning lightly against her back; Quinn's head poking out from behind her shoulder. She remembered a hand that rested tenderly on her waist, but she didn't question it because it was Quinn's and – well – their relationship had always been touchy. Tricky.

Complicated.

She wiped at her eyes and placed the picture back. Her head dropped into her hands as she thought about Glee, about Quinn, about what exactly was she doing with her life now that she didn't have McKinley as an excuse to fall back on anymore. She could go audition like she had told Kurt, her fathers, Jane, and others that she would, but rejection was a fear that wouldn't go away no matter how many stupid Nationals trophy she won. For every good thing that came to her life, something horrible had to happen afterward.

What's to say this new chapter won't be the same?

She glanced inside the box again.

She wanted to talk to someone. No – she _needed_ to talk to someone. Kurt and Blaine had also come to New York, but they're too busy trying to make their relationship actually work this time. Santana and Brittany seemed to have enough cash between them to forever be on a honeymoon trip so who knows when they'll return. Things with Mercedes were still rocky at best, even though she gave Mercedes the push to finally get back together with Sam. And Sam – she could never talk to him to begin with because as sweet as he was, the guy was a little too optimistic and naive about everything. She'd never been close to Artie or Mike, and talking to Puck would be just as good as talking to Sam. Tina was out of the question.

That left one person; one person who she hadn't seen nor spoken to in over half a year, even though it felt longer. One person who had been plaguing her mind for months now, popping in and out of existence in the most bizarre ways. The one person that had always pushed her into the right direction and never sugar coated anything for her benefit.

With a few quick phone calls, a hastily put together overnight bag, a swipe with her credit card, a 2 hour train ride later, she found herself in New Haven.

* * *

**AN:** I don't know exactly how this story will play out, I just wanted to write something down and get Kitty's line out of the way. Maybe 3 or so chapters? I hate writing long fics so I apologize in advance for the inevitable long wait. This will be the only chapter of its kind, and the rest will be more traditional (you'll know what I mean). Reviews and critiques and comments are appreciated!


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